Double Blind Read online

  Praise for Novels by Brandilyn Collins

  Gone to Ground

  “What do you do with a truth that could shatter your world? That’s the question at the heart of this rollercoaster suspense thriller. With memorable characters and intriguing plot twists, Collins leads her readers through a high-octane course as each woman confronts the price she would pay for justice.”

  —CBA Retailers + Resources

  “Moves along briskly. The popular novelist’s talent continues to flower . . . and sales will flourish.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Collins does it again with her trademark suspense that will keep readers up late into the night.”

  —RT Book Reviews

  “Well crafted. A page-turning suspense.”

  —Examiner.com

  “A taut, heartbreaking thriller . . . Collins is a fine writer who knows how to both horrify readers and keep them turning pages.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Tense and dramatic . . . a dense and compact narrative that holds its tension while following the protagonist in a withering battle.”

  —New York Journal of Books

  “A frightening and all-too-real scenario . . . very timely and meaningful book.”

  —RT Book Reviews

  “Thrilling tale of vengeance . . . the pace is relentless, the suspense ramping up to greater levels as the pages fly by.”

  —Mysterious Reviews

  Deceit

  “. . . good storytelling and notable mystery . . . an enticing read [that poses] tough questions about truth and lies, power and control, faith and forgiveness.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Solidly constructed . . . a strong and immediately likable protagonist. One of the Top 10 Inspirational Novels of 2010.”

  —Booklist

  “Filled with excitement and intrigue, Collins’ latest will keep the reader quickly turning pages . . . This tightly plotted mystery, filled with quirky characters, will appeal to suspense lovers everywhere.”

  —RT Book Reviews

  “. . . pulse-accelerating, winding, twisting storyline [that will] keep your attention riveted to the action until the very end.”

  —Christian Retailing

  Exposure

  “. . . a hefty dose of action and suspense with a superb conclusion.”

  —RT Book Reviews

  “Brandilyn Collins, the queen of Seatbelt Suspense®, certainly lives up to her well-deserved reputation. Exposure has more twists and turns than a Coney Island roller coaster . . . Intertwining storylines collide in this action-packed drama of suspense and intrigue. Highly recommended.”

  —CBA Retailers + Resources

  “Captivating . . . the alternating plot lines and compelling characters in Exposure will capture the reader’s attention, but the twist of events at the end is most rewarding.”

  —Christian Retailing

  “Mesmerizing mystery . . . a fast-paced, twisting tale of desperate choices.”

  —TitleTrakk.com

  “[Collins is] a master of her craft . . . intensity, tension, high-caliber suspense, and engaging mystery.”

  —The Christian Manifesto

  Dark Pursuit

  “Lean style and absorbing plot . . . Brandilyn Collins is a master of suspense.”

  —CBA Retailers + Resources

  “Intense . . . engaging . . . whiplash-inducing plot twists . . . the concepts of forgiveness, restoration, selflessness, and sacrifice made this book not only enjoyable, but a worthwhile read.”

  —Thrill Writer

  “Moves from fast to fierce.”

  —TitleTrakk.com

  “Thrilling . . . characters practically leap off the page with their quirks and inclinations.”

  —Tennessee Christian Reader

  Amber Morn

  “. . . a harrowing hostage drama . . . essential reading.”

  —Library Journal

  “The queen of Seatbelt Suspense® delivers as promised. Her short sentences and strong word choices create a ‘here and now’ reading experience like no other.”

  —TitleTrakk.com

  “Heart-pounding . . . the satisfying and meaningful ending comes as a relief after the breakneck pace of the story.”

  —RT Book Reviews

  “High octane suspense . . . a powerful ensemble performance.”

  —BookshelfReview.com

  Crimson Eve

  “One of the Best Books of 2007 . . . Top Christian suspense of the year.”

  —Library Journal, starred review

  “The excitement starts on page one and doesn’t stop until the shocking end . . . [Crimson Eve] is fast-paced and thrilling.”

  —Romantic Times

  “The action starts with a bang . . . and the pace doesn’t let up until this fabulous racehorse of a story crosses the finish line.

  —Christian Retailing

  “An unparalleled cat-and-mouse game wrought with mystery and surprise.”

  —TitleTrakk.com

  Coral Moon

  “A chilling mystery. Not one to be read alone at night.”

  —RT BOOKclub

  “Thrilling . . . one of those rare books you hurry through, almost breathlessly, to find out what happens.”

  —Spokane Living

  “. . . a fascinating tale laced with supernatural chills and gut-wrenching suspense.

  —Christian Library Journal

  Violet Dawn

  “. . . fast-paced . . . interesting details of police procedure and crime scene investigation . . . beautifully developed [characters] . . .”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “A sympathetic heroine . . . effective flashbacks . . . Collins knows how to weave faith into a rich tale.”

  —Library Journal

  “Collins expertly melds flashbacks with present-day events to provide a smooth yet deliciously intense flow . . . quirky townsfolk will help drive the next books in the series.”

  —RT BOOKclub

  “Skillfully written . . . Imaginative style and exquisite suspense.”

  —1340mag.com

  Web of Lies

  “A master storyteller . . . Collins deftly finesses the accelerator on this knuckle-chomping ride.”

  —RT BOOKclub

  “Fast-paced . . . mentally challenging and genuinely entertaining.”

  —Christian Book Previews

  Dead of Night

  “Collins’ polished plotting sparkles . . . unique word twists on the psychotic serial killer mentality. Lock your doors, pull your shades—and read this book at noon.”

  —RT BOOKclub, Top Pick

  “. . . this one is up there in the stratosphere . . . Collins has it in her to give an author like Patricia Cornwell a run for her money.”

  —FaithfulReader.com

  “. . . spine-tingling, hair-raising, edge-of-the-seat suspense.”

  —Wordsmith Review

  “A page-turner I couldn’t put down, except to check the locks on my doors.”

  —Author’s Choice Reviews

  Stain of Guilt

  “Collins keeps the reader gasping and guessing . . . artistic prose paints vivid pictures . . . High marks for original plotting and superb pacing.”

  —RT BOOKclub

  “. . . a sinister, tense story with twists and turns that will keep you on the edge of your seat.”

  —Wordsmith Shoppe

  Brink of Death

  “. . . an abundance of real-life faith as well as real-life fear, betrayal and evil. This one kept me gripped from beginning to end.”

  —Contemporary Christian Music magazine

  “Collins’ deft hand for suspense brings on the shivers.”

  —RT BOOKclu
b

  “Gripping . . . thrills from page one.”

  —Christian Book Previews

  Dread Champion

  “Compelling . . . plenty of intrigue and false trails.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Finely-crafted . . . vivid . . . another masterpiece that keeps the reader utterly engrossed.”

  —RT BOOKclub

  “. . . riveting mystery and courtroom drama.”

  —Library Journal

  Eyes of Elisha

  “Chilling . . . a confusing, twisting trail that keeps pages turning.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “A thriller that keeps the reader guessing until the end.”

  —Library Journal

  “Unique and intriguing . . . filled with more turns than a winding mountain highway.”

  —RT BOOKclub

  “One of the top ten Christian novels of 2001.”

  —Christianbook.com

  Other Novels by Brandilyn Collins

  Stand-Alone Suspense

  Gone to Ground

  Over the Edge

  Deceit

  Exposure

  Dark Pursuit

  Rayne Tour YA Series

  (cowritten with Amberly Collins)

  Always Watching

  Last Breath

  Final Touch

  Kanner Lake Series

  Violet Dawn

  Coral Moon

  Crimson Eve

  Hidden Faces Series

  Brink of Death

  Stain of Guilt

  Dead of Night

  Web of Lies

  Chelsea Adams Series

  Eyes of Elisha

  Dread Champion

  Bradleyville Series

  Cast a Road Before Me

  Color the Sidewalk for Me

  Capture the Wind for Me

  Double Blind, Digital Edition

  Based on Print Edition

  Copyright © 2012 by Brandilyn Collins

  All rights reserved.

  Printed in the United States of America

  978-1-4336-7164-7

  Published by B&H Publishing Group

  Nashville, Tennessee

  Dewey Decimal Classification: F

  Subject Heading: GRIEF—FICTION DEPRESSION (PSYCHOLOGY)—FICTION SURGERY—FICTION

  Author represented by the literary agency of Alive Communications, Inc., 7680 Goddard Street, Suite 200, Colorado Springs, Colorado, 80920, www.alivecommunications.com.

  Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version, copyright © 1979, 1980, 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Publishers.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Discussion Questions

  Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there Your hand shall lead me, And Your right hand shall hold me. If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,” Even the night shall be light about me; Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, But the night shines as the day; The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

  Psalm 139:7–12 (NKJV)

  SATURDAY, MARCH 3

  Chapter 1

  DESPERATE PEOPLE MAKE DESPERATE CHOICES.

  In my kitchen I took one look at the envelope in the stack of mail and dropped it like burning metal. It landed askew on the counter, the gold Cognoscenti logo pulsing up at me.

  If I had known, I would have trashed it right then and there.

  Nine months before The Letter arrived, my husband had been killed in a car accident. Ryan, with his lanky body and loving touch, that dimple in his right cheek. His quirky smile and teasing way. He’d been only thirty-five—six years older than I. Four months after his funeral a robber attacked me in a mall parking lot and nearly choked me to death before a security guard happened by. My attacker got away. He’s still out there somewhere, walking the streets. And during the two years before Ryan’s death? I’d had three miscarriages.

  Five traumatic events in a row. I was bent, near broken. A wind-battered sapling. Abandoned by God.

  Have you ever battled depression? That black, biting maw that devours you whole and turns your world to darkness? Your life becomes unlivable. You become . . . nothing. One day you’re a speck in the universe, blown here and there. Trod underfoot. The next you’re weighted and shackled, the chains too heavy to lift.

  The envelope looked thin, maybe one sheet of paper inside. A single piece of paper that could alter the very core of me.

  One last hope.

  My fumbling hands picked up the envelope. I slid a finger under the flap and edged it open. Pulled out the answer on which I’d hung my future.

  Dear Lisa Newberry,

  It is my pleasure to inform you that you have been accepted into the medical trial for Cognoscenti’s new Empowerment Chip. Please call our research director at your earliest convenience to set up an appointment so we may proceed. The number is below.

  Dr. William Hilderbrand, President and CEO

  Oh. Oh.

  Weakness rushed me. I leaned against the tile, relief exploding in my chest. Heat blew through my limbs. This was it. I was in. I could be whole. My mind could hardly contain the thought.

  Not until that moment had I realized the true depth of my despair. If this had been a No, who knows what I would have done.

  My next thought was of Ryan. I know you would want this for me.

  And then—it all blitzed away. The euphoria melted as quickly as it had come. In its place, the inevitable pessimism of depression. No way could I be so fortunate. Surely I’d read the letter wrong.

  I read it again. A third time, daring the answer to change, knowing it would. But no. The word accepted burned from the page.

  Excitement rose again, propelling my hand to the phone, sitting next to me on the counter. I picked it up and called Sherry Grubacker, my one friend in the Bay Area. The news trembled on my tongue, ready to jump as soon as she said hello.

  Her canned voice mail kicked on. No Sherry.

  Well, of course. With such incredible news as this, how could I expect to find someone to share it with?

  I hung up.

  Next thing I knew I was punching in my mother’s number—a reckless choice in the passion of the moment. My mother had known nothing of my many screening interviews with Cognoscenti, the physical and mental workups. She’d only nagged me for my weakness in the past few months. Wasn’t it time I pulled myself together? She’d had her own difficulties in her lifetime, she reminded me. Losing her husband when I was only two. But she’d managed to throw back her shoulders and move on. Raise me alone.

  True. And she’d criticized me the entire time.

  What was I doing? My finger slowed, then hovered over the last digit. My mother would never condone this decision.

  I droppe
d the receiver back in its cradle. Then slumped over the counter, hands to my temples, adrift. The familiar ennui settled in, dragging along its chilling companion—fear.

  Reality clunked in my chest, and I tried to breathe around its weight. The gleaming promise of the letter dulled before my eyes. Cognoscenti’s prize had seemed so miraculous while I pursued it. But now that it was within my reach—what was I doing?

  No way could I go through with this.

  I wandered into the living room of my corner apartment. Gazed through the front window at the sun-strewn afternoon. Early March in Redwood City, California, and the daffodils were up, the magnolia trees in pink bloom. Spring was coming. Renewal time.

  For nature, maybe. Not for me.

  I pressed cold hands against my cheeks. Brain surgery. Brain surgery, Lisa. How could I even think of putting myself through that?

  But the procedure was simple, they said. Cognoscenti’s advancements in brain chip implants went far beyond any other company’s research. If I got the real implant I would instantly escape my whirlpool of defeat. A short stay in the hospital, and I could be a new person. Imagine . . . nurturing all the memories of Ryan without the deadening grief. Imagine recalling my attack with head knowledge only, not the sucking, terror-drenched memory from my gut.

  Who wouldn’t want to turn off their pain?

  But it wasn’t quite that simple.

  In what they called the “gold standard” of research—double-blind, placebo-controlled—I could end up with the placebo. The blank chip. The surgery done—for nothing. Amazing they would put people through such turmoil. But that’s the way medical research worked.

  Still, it was a chance. One little Empowerment Chip, and I could have the strength to rebuild my life. I could feel again. Breathe again. If I didn’t try it, what future did I have?

  I dropped my head in my hands. I wanted this. How very much I needed the hope. Without it I didn’t know how to go on.

  But what if something went wrong?

  TUESDAY, MARCH 6

  Chapter 2

  I PULLED INTO THE COGNOSCENTI PARKING LOT, A BRICK IN my stomach. Last night I’d hardly slept. This was the first time I’d been to these offices in Palo Alto, twenty minutes from my apartment. Previous interviews with company psychologists and doctors had been held at their medical clinic.